Thot Topics
Thot Topics is a podcast with the bravery to stare into the void and ask God’s question: ”Do I look fat in these jeans?” Every week, Nick Malone and Cris Lopez slow-motion dive into music, culture, and politics, then emerge soaking wet with 100% certified accurate takes for your listening pleasure. If you’ve ever felt gaslit by gay Twitter, or by a sizing chart while online shopping, this will be the sisterhood of a lifetime.
Episodes

3 hours ago
Cousin Skeeters!
3 hours ago
3 hours ago
You've heard of kissing cousins... now get ready for dick-sucking cousins!
No one ever said podcasting would be easy-- luckily, we are more than up to the task, even in sweltering fucking HOT 70 degree weather in our beautiful city, baby. Let's get down to business!
First, we check in on the inaugural round of the THOT TOPICS MUSIC LEAGUE (Join here!), shouting out our favorites and... others.... THEN, we discuss the reveal of the debut FKA Addison Rae album. But gosh darnit, you know that's not all.
We discuss Kanye sucking his cousin's PP and writing a song about it, and get into the reveal of the new Drag Race "All" "Stars" cast.... ughhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. You're our sister by birth-- become a patron by choice.

6 days ago
6 days ago
Spotify is trying to punish us for being too beautiful and talented for their platform, so join us on PATREON!
For $5/month, you get TWO episodes every single freaking week, including this: ON SECOND THOT, our aftershow where we are allowed to get a lil more personal wit it. We'll keep attempting to upload to the free feed in the meantime, but guarantee xxxclusive access below...
Don't wait, join the sisterhood NOW: patreon.com/thottopics

Friday Apr 11, 2025
Auto Gyne Nachtmusik!
Friday Apr 11, 2025
Friday Apr 11, 2025
Piper? How'd she get THAT name...
WELCOME... 2 OUR ISLAND! Thot TOPICS Island. Pon de beach, the girls take a vacation from cognitive functioning and basic logic skills: just for you. Lotion up sisters because surf is motherfucking UP!
This week, we discuss the finale of THE WHITE LOTUS-- the who, the what, the where, and most of all the WHY? Speak no evil girl... I better not hear no evil... THEN, we run out of things to talk about so we have a classic Womens' Business Seminar, covering all sorts of subjects: Pink Pony Club, us getting banned from Spotify, side hustles, psychoANALySIS, and more.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Be a pleaser on Patreon.

Thursday Mar 20, 2025
Sgt. Poppers Lonely Hearts Club Band!
Thursday Mar 20, 2025
Thursday Mar 20, 2025
Happy birthday Irish people! Welcome to the St. Patrick's Day celebration brought to you by Thot Topics. Recorded in the moments before disaster, the girls center themselves with a vital discussion on LA MUSICA de Lady Gaga, Chappell Roan, and so much mas.
But that's not all-- we uncork The Poppers Question and get to sniffin'. Do poppers deserve to be banned? Are they lowkey safe and totally fine? We do some investigative reporting at the scene of the crime: DOUBLE SCORPIO, Incorporated...
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Help fight for huffers' rights on Patreon.
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Tuesday Mar 11, 2025
Gargarden of Eden!
Tuesday Mar 11, 2025
Tuesday Mar 11, 2025
You already know what time it is... Screamin' for me baby!!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo.
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Tuesday Feb 25, 2025
Chudai Stay Or Chudai Go!
Tuesday Feb 25, 2025
Tuesday Feb 25, 2025
Chudai give up... or chudai just keep chasin' pavements...
Welcome back to the Thot Topics Center for Controlling It, where this week we'll be working hard in the lab to bring America the truth and nothing BUT the truth. Check it! This week, we answer a few of our patrons' most pressing questions, but not before we address some quandaries of our own.
How do reservations work? (Reservoir?) Do any beauty products actually work? Should McDonald's go fully automatic? MANY issues are settled for good.
TRY MAGIC MIND! GO TO MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20 AND USE PROMO CODE 'THOTPOD20' FOR 20% OFF ANY SINGLE PURCHASE, OR 48% OFF ANY SUBSCRIPTION.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Chud you subscribe on Patreon? We think you chud. x

Friday Feb 07, 2025
Martin Luther "Kori" King Jr!
Friday Feb 07, 2025
Friday Feb 07, 2025
Calling all abracadivas and abracadabroids: Thot Topics School for Girls is back in session. Abra ooh na na!
First of all, you dirty BITCH: we review the Grammys from head to toe and we have some constructive feedback. From BRAT to the other stuff, we go deep and dirty. THEN, little girl: we review the new Lady Gargar single ABRACADABRA and read the tea leaves for Miz Germanotta.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Abracado it to it on Patreon.
TRY MAGIC MIND WITH OUR CODE 'THOTPOD20' AT MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20. WAKE UP THAT BRAIN AND GET WERKIN'!

Friday Jan 24, 2025
The Beat Pumpers Union!
Friday Jan 24, 2025
Friday Jan 24, 2025
Have you paid your dues? The beat shan't be pumped until every member has paid their dues...
We're back in the studio all by our lonesome, and I'm sorry to say it, but we are breaking our no-politics promise... not because we feel especially motivated but because we had no other ideas.
This week, the girls discuss the second Trump inaugie, banning pride flags on government buildings, the TikTok blackout, and MORE! We can't WAIT for the peanut gallery to chime in on this bad boy...
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Protect your werker's rights on Patreon.
Get 45% off the Magic Mind bundle with with our xclusive link: https://magicmind.com/THOTPODJAN #magicmind #mentalwealth #mentalperformance

Friday Jan 10, 2025
Thotline 8: AT&T Already Done Had Herses!
Friday Jan 10, 2025
Friday Jan 10, 2025
Not my best work in this episode title but I'm tired man
We're twenty-twenty-LIVE in the booth in the new year baby!! We hope your resolution wasn't to stop listening to the erotic audio stylings of Thot Topics because we're about to make it THAT much harder!
This week, we take calls and emails from our precious homosexual listeners to solve mental problems that have never been addressed by the medical community at large. What should you do if a guy is afraid of touching spit? Which of us would win in a fight? Do we like eating ass? ALL will be settled before a jury of our peers.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Get on our party line on Patreon.
TRY MAGIC MIND FOR 20% OFF WITH PROMO CODE THOTPOD20 AT MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20! GET YOUR MIND RIGHT MAMA!

Wednesday Dec 25, 2024
Interstellar Friendship Karaoke AKA The 202th Episode Special
Wednesday Dec 25, 2024
Wednesday Dec 25, 2024
The girls set up shop at a karaoke bar to properly enjoy their top musical moments of 2024, and to celebrate 200 episodes of sisterhood and divadom.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Recoup our yogurt soju fund on Patreon.