Thot Topics
Thot Topics is a podcast with the bravery to stare into the void and ask God’s question: ”Do I look fat in these jeans?” Every week, Nick Malone and Cris Lopez slow-motion dive into music, culture, and politics, then emerge soaking wet with 100% certified accurate takes for your listening pleasure. If you’ve ever felt gaslit by gay Twitter, or by a sizing chart while online shopping, this will be the sisterhood of a lifetime.
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Episodes
Thursday Mar 20, 2025
Thursday Mar 20, 2025
Happy birthday Irish people! Welcome to the St. Patrick's Day celebration brought to you by Thot Topics. Recorded in the moments before disaster, the girls center themselves with a vital discussion on LA MUSICA de Lady Gaga, Chappell Roan, and so much mas.
But that's not all-- we uncork The Poppers Question and get to sniffin'. Do poppers deserve to be banned? Are they lowkey safe and totally fine? We do some investigative reporting at the scene of the crime: DOUBLE SCORPIO, Incorporated...
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Help fight for huffers' rights on Patreon.
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Tuesday Mar 11, 2025
Tuesday Mar 11, 2025
You already know what time it is... Screamin' for me baby!!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo.
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Tuesday Feb 25, 2025
Tuesday Feb 25, 2025
Chudai give up... or chudai just keep chasin' pavements...
Welcome back to the Thot Topics Center for Controlling It, where this week we'll be working hard in the lab to bring America the truth and nothing BUT the truth. Check it! This week, we answer a few of our patrons' most pressing questions, but not before we address some quandaries of our own.
How do reservations work? (Reservoir?) Do any beauty products actually work? Should McDonald's go fully automatic? MANY issues are settled for good.
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Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Chud you subscribe on Patreon? We think you chud. x
Friday Feb 07, 2025
Friday Feb 07, 2025
Calling all abracadivas and abracadabroids: Thot Topics School for Girls is back in session. Abra ooh na na!
First of all, you dirty BITCH: we review the Grammys from head to toe and we have some constructive feedback. From BRAT to the other stuff, we go deep and dirty. THEN, little girl: we review the new Lady Gargar single ABRACADABRA and read the tea leaves for Miz Germanotta.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Abracado it to it on Patreon.
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Friday Jan 24, 2025
Friday Jan 24, 2025
Have you paid your dues? The beat shan't be pumped until every member has paid their dues...
We're back in the studio all by our lonesome, and I'm sorry to say it, but we are breaking our no-politics promise... not because we feel especially motivated but because we had no other ideas.
This week, the girls discuss the second Trump inaugie, banning pride flags on government buildings, the TikTok blackout, and MORE! We can't WAIT for the peanut gallery to chime in on this bad boy...
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Protect your werker's rights on Patreon.
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Friday Jan 10, 2025
Friday Jan 10, 2025
Not my best work in this episode title but I'm tired man
We're twenty-twenty-LIVE in the booth in the new year baby!! We hope your resolution wasn't to stop listening to the erotic audio stylings of Thot Topics because we're about to make it THAT much harder!
This week, we take calls and emails from our precious homosexual listeners to solve mental problems that have never been addressed by the medical community at large. What should you do if a guy is afraid of touching spit? Which of us would win in a fight? Do we like eating ass? ALL will be settled before a jury of our peers.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Get on our party line on Patreon.
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Wednesday Dec 25, 2024
Wednesday Dec 25, 2024
The girls set up shop at a karaoke bar to properly enjoy their top musical moments of 2024, and to celebrate 200 episodes of sisterhood and divadom.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Recoup our yogurt soju fund on Patreon.
Wednesday Dec 25, 2024
Wednesday Dec 25, 2024
This isn't really a Christmas episode because we recorded it like, over a week ago-- but Merry Christmas to you and yours all the same...
You've heard of a one horse open sleigh... now get ready for TWO whore's open slay. That's right, we ain't hidin' it! This week, after a lovely girly catchup chat, we assess the BILLBOARD TOP 25 POPSTARS OF THE 21ST CENTURY list. We get a little heated about some of the inclusions, which is just perfect for this brisk holiday afternoon...
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Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Hurry down our chimney on Patreon.
Tuesday Dec 03, 2024
Tuesday Dec 03, 2024
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Flopular... you're gonna be flopyouular...
Welcome back to the Thot Topics glistening wintertime palace of holiday delights. This week, the girls are setting the table for a fancy feast of cunty proportions-- we hope you brought a bib, sis!
After a little bit of good old fashioned GIRL TIME, we give our review of WICKED-- the good, the bad, the tragic and the beautiful. Then, we uncork some other pressing thoughts on concealing one's fagcent.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Enroll at Thot Topics College Prep on Patreon.
Monday Dec 02, 2024
Monday Dec 02, 2024
Sabrina Carpenter? I barely know her!! HA!
Welcome back to the Thot Topics Twisted Labyrinth where nothing is quite as it seems... if you're feeling turkeylicious this season, have we got the episode for you!
This week, the girls catch up after a week apart: Cris delivers a field report from the mean streets of BAMF, Canada and Nick grapples with the everyday struggles of motherhood.
Then, it's down to business: we discuss Sabrina Carpenter pantomiming blowjays on stage and whether it's good for pop stars to get horny. Plus, we talk about Charli XCX's turn as SNL host and the exhausting future of Brat now that Kamala is out of the picture.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Can you say magenta on Patreon?