Thot Topics

Thot Revolution! (feat. Twink Revolution)

Yeah, we're gay. Keep scrolling.
кто бы говорил! This week, we have Sam and Gian of Twink Revolution Podcast over for the sweatiest, bounciest slumber party/pillow fight of all time! Wait... omg, did we leave the door open? Ugh! Our eyes are up here, pervert!
This girls' night is strictly business, baby: we get to the bottom of the Twink Rev origin story, guide the twinks on a journey as they tap into their inner stan/misogynist, then dish on Lady Gaga's, uhh, "breathless" VMA performance. Plus: OnlyFans, queer theory syllabi, narcissism, Miley Cyrus's Anna Khachiyan haircut, Zoomcore, Grimes's pregnancy diet, going maskless as the new rawdogging, AUDIO FUCKING ISSUES, Frankie Grande's former throuple, mutual love and respect, God, sacrifice, deliverance, and podcasting.

You Don't Mess With the Lohan!

Gosh, is it bad to say that we had a Grand Old Time with the ladies of the RNC? Beats fuckin Billy Porter that's for sure, and this is definitely some of our best episode music of all time...
This week, we leave no stone unturned, no ass unwiped, no conversion therapy uncompleted, and no president unseated! Try to keep up, bitch.
We recap the RNC, ponder why jumping in a moving train doesn't send you flying to the back, discuss Lohanthony's dishonorable discharge from homosexuality, and ask some extremely pressing questions: Has "ironic" online homophobia among gay men gone too far? AND is Black Lives Matter protesting in white neighborhoods a total LARP?
Take a load off, you fucking freaks, cuz this is gonna be a wild ride!! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.
For your reference and listening enjoyment: Zach Langley Chi Chi's IM SO POPULAR Episode 05: "Gay People and Personal Branding"

Pod de Replay!

We are fucking under attack!!! Download CUNT WARS.
Pretty slow news week, but we had a lot of fun doing the albums bracket a few weeks back, so we decide to loose our hottest takes about every pop girl (and man!) in the industry one by one in a race to the TOP! (Lol) All we DO this week is pit women against each other: Rihanna and Beyonce, Katy and Gaga, Demi and Selena, Bieber and Styles, and so many more. Plus, we choose a side in the great Billy Porter/Randy Rainbow divide, and celebrate the freedom of Lena Dunham from cultural indignity.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.
 

Cumala Harris in the Oral Office!

Loosen up, girlies-- cuz this episode? We lay it on THICK. This week, we're hot on the scene (we wore tennis skirts and noooo panties) of the "crime" involving Congressional hopeful Alex Morse, the mayor of Bumfuck, Massachusetts and his supposed flirtations with college students. But that's not all: we also unpack Kamala Harris's veep nomination and talk about suppressing the gay urge to support a woman with nice hair and legs in spite of her hobby of terrorizing communities. Of course, we also touch on some REAL news-- that being the release of Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's "WAP"-- and what it means for whores in this house, this country, and this world!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.
River Page - "The Woke Resurrection of a Gay Sex Panic" (Twink Revolution)

Blacking Out Is King!

Hey, do you like fitness? We'll then you're gonna LOVE fitness episode in those wet little ears of yours. This week (bitch you guessed it!) we review the new Beyonce "film" Black Is King-- plus, we reimagine what it could've looked like if she actually used good music (RELAX-- we mean her own).
Lucky for you we opt for only one racially charged conversation topic-- instead, we look inward at our experiences in P.E. class to answer to one of this week's hottest online takes: if gym class was less "toxically masculine," would there be less obesity? Only one way to find out, fatty. Strap on those thinking caps and hit the showers!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

Let's Play Some Breastketball!

The leading ladies of the WNBA (Women's National Bussy Association) reports live COURTSIDE at Thot Topics Stadium sponsored by Roblox!! It's the first week of July Juladness and we are itching for some hot, sweaty sportsmanlike behavior!! We've taken the liberty of constructing a bracket of the year's definitive albums as told by gay guys around the world-- and we plan to get to the BOTTOM of it. Lol! From Future Nostalgia to Flo Milli, EVERYONE (no really, everyone) has a chance to claim the top spot: we have only one photo in our hand.
 
During the pregame, we discuss Megan Thee Stallion breaking her silence on her shooting, Lana Del Rey's horrible new hair, and some other shit we can't remember. We're sure you'll love it, money back guarantee!
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

An Evening in Faggotsburg! (feat. Cole Cunningham)

Are we sucking you off? (Nope.) Didn't think so!
 
GOD, you guys are lucky to have us. With the help of dearly beloved friend of the pod Cole Cunningham, we boldly go where no group of homosexuals has gone before: the world of musical theater. 
 
In other words, we tried to watch the three hour long minstrel show that is Hamilton on Disney+, but truly could not bear all of the extremely earnest rap written by someone who had clearly never listened to rap before in their entire life. We fast-forwarded a lot but boy, have we got the recap/review show for you!
 
Don't worry, that's not all. We also review the new Katy Perry jingle "Smile," Nicki Minaj's immaculate conception pics, and discuss the proposal to change Boystown's name to Tinaville or something. Reminder to PLEASE stop uhhh hexing the fae I swear to god you don't know what you're playing with... Xoxo!
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. We'd tell you to follow Cole but he's on private cuz he has a job (unlike some people).

Women's Business Insiders!

Get in the fucking pan, since you wanna act onions!
God this episode was a fucking slog to get through... in the first-ever technical difficulties in Thot Topics recorded history, we lost FIFTEEN GODDAMN MINUTES OF AUDIO from our first take and had to start fresh. We handle it okay but our mournful mood looms large over this episode. Since God came down and took our scathing hot Fire Island takes from the world and my hard drive, we instead turn to the Harper's Magazine open letter calling to CANCEL cancel culture, along with some extremely pressing and important YouTuber drama. Since we were left with a Cancelthon on our hands, we then decide to play a game of Cancel Her or Keep Her, where we justify which women deserve to be canceled, and which deserve to stay! They got us gal!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

Unstable For Two AKA The Olive Garden Special!

In what is truly our most avant-garde episode of all time, we finally fulfill a career-long dream of ours: podcasting LIVE from Olive Garden! And trust the duchess when she says the Artist Is Present. Really, what DON'T we talk about? Over a piping hot plate of shrimp carbonara, we review the new Hulu series Love, Victor, which was written by straight-questioning life forms from another fucking planet. Then, we take on the week's most savory issues: YouTuber cancellations, Lena Dunham and white privilege, and Arca's new album! Our table, our rules-- we tip generously ;)
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

Hotel Groom Service!

Lucky you, we're back! And the discourse was firmly in our wheelhouse this week: if there are two things in this godforsaken world that we know, it's being a teen, and having sex. In our first episode as *former roommates*, we dish all our dirty little secrets on sexual agency, online chatrooms, whether the stats of rape culture can be applied to Twitter, and wonder if we've done a little grooming ourselves. What a world!! Then, it's back to the stuff that REALLY matters: Nicki and Tekashi's "Trollz," and the new season of Drag Race All Stars, and we finally reveal Anne Frank's height! 
Alternate Titles: A Groom With A View, Marvin's Groom, Groom and Board, Chatgroom