Thot Topics

My Katycat From Hell!

You've stumbled into the Katy Perry Apologists Anonymous meeting. Please find a seat and be prepared to share your story. Refreshments have been provided and are available on the far wall. May we see your peacock?
This week is a really special one. Just honestly what the fuck guys. First, we unpack our fourth of july weekend for all its worth. These are NOT our cookies officer! Then, we review the brand new Katy Perry single "Woman's World," and wonder if Katy Perry knew that women are allowed to have jobs. We issue a formal prognosis for the 143 era and it's not looking great.
Last but certainly not least, we discuss Matt Bomer's beautiful family and whether it's heteronormative to have children-- whatever the HELL that means. We break new ground on a WELL-worn topic and there's much to enjoy.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. They really CAN all be California Gurls on Patreon.

Goodbye Whorses!

Na na na na.... na na naaa na... hey, hey, hey... gay priiiiiiiide
Strap in (or on!) for the unique and incomparable stylings of THOT TOPICS! This week, we're in rare form to discuss all manner of gay guy bullshit happening on the timeline-- we're really playing the hits on this one. Thank you to all of the brain damaged middle aged homos who contributed their valuable thoughts!
The table is piled high with crucial documents of pride month behavior. First, we discuss the 17 year old insisting that he does not want attention online and being called a pedophile for saying so. Then, we talk about whether or not it's worth it to spend $300 a month on an Equinox membership and what gay guys REALLY mean when they say "networking." Of course, we had to discuss the guy whose boyfriend didn't let him top for 2 and a half years because he wasn't "daddy enough." You guys were really acting up LOL!!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. You know you were hella wrong for what you did on Patreon.
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WE ARE BACK IN BEESWAX WITH MAGIC MIND! For 20% off your first order of their mental performance shots at magicmind.com/thotpod20 or use the code THOTPOD20 at checkout. (Or for 48% off your first subscription order.) Godspeed!

Wide and Prejudiced!

Sometimes, the people who laugh the most, cry inside the hardest... they also have the biggest jiggliest boobs. 😥 RT if you cried
Welcome to the Thot Topics podcast official Pride Month kickoff where we ask the question on everybody's lips (both sets!): Are YOU proud to be gay? We try our hand at "questions to ask an LGBT panelist", but before we do that, we air a few grievances around GETTING OLD and ALCOHOL AS A SOCIAL LUBRICANT. We're sipping from the fountain of youth this week y'all-- we advise you to throw on a two-piece and soak it up!
We were both really tired and had a piece of shit week but hopefully you find some sisterhood hidden in this profound and meaningful Girls Chat...
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. 

On Second Thot - May 28, 2024 (Preview)

Has anyone even TOLD you about our new weekly bonus show for paying sisters? ON SECOND THOT is our sexy little aftershow where put our hair in a pony, get cozy, and let the real freak shit fly. Each week, we select our definitive SLAYS OF THE DAY, FREAKS OF THE WEEK, and last but not least, discuss how God tested us over the last seven days.
You too can enjoy these vital conversations on Patreon at patreon.com/thottopics for only 4 dollars a month-- PLUS the standard premium-only episode every other week. Here's just a little taste...
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo.

Sweat T-Shirt Contest!

Welcome to the Metropolitan Museum of Ass, Hair, and Titties. We'll kindly accept your donations up front, to support the continued growth of this vital field.
We're BACK! And back in the New York GROOVE no less as we take on the many looks of the 2024 MET GALA, the theme of which was something about flowers or something? Hard to remember now girl. If you'd like to do a READ-ALONG with us, please enjoy your listening experience paired with photos from the good homosexuals at Vogue.
Naturally, that's NOT all to the tasty recipe that gives this episode it's robust flavor. We also talk about SWEAT and DEODORANT, the music of RAVEN-SYMONE, CAR CRASHES, LOSS PREVENTION, and THE JOYS OF TANNING. Please enjoy-- and god BLESS!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. If you have not already joined us on Patreon for our brand-new weekly bonus show, ON SECOND THOT, come and get you a piece before it's TOO LATE!

Anyway, Ni Hao!

Yeah I don't know what the fuck was in the giggle water this week but this is a particularly cracked out episode lmfao
WELCUM 2 THE JUNGLE! The girls return to discuss matters of utmost importance with international implications. As we pregame for the Nicki Minaj concert and spread our passports wet 'n' wide for entry to Gag City, we pay ten dollars to get in the ball and take a closer look at what the world is up to...
First, we discuss the rates of LGBTness among Gen Z high schoolers, and the New York Times (I think? LOL) report that it's mostly girls saying that they are bisexual. Then, we discuss the Normal Middle Class Guy TikTok and unpack what makes straight men so drawn to the grindset.
Last but CERTAINLY not least, we unpack the imminent opening of JOHNSON'S the male strip bar set to replace Berlin in Boystown, and the fuming gogo boys involved. Pretty messy!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. We munch trade for dollars on Patreon. Don't forget to sign up for access to our new weekly bonus show for patronz!!

Guncles and Gaggots! (Preview)

**PATRONS ONLY**
Welcome to the Thot Topics Brewhouse, where children and dogs alike will be killed immediately upon entry. Can we offer you a Michelob Ultra draft?
The girls return to the booth for a vital tribunal on all the issues facing a young woman in the world today: SSRIs, feline dental health, immune system support, desktop gaming, marijuana legislation, HIV that turns into AIDS, and so much more.
But naturally that's not all: we also discuss the photo that sent all kinds of totally normal people into a frenzy this week, in which dogs are allowed and human children are banned. What's our stance on all of that? We attempt to form a cogent thought.
We also discuss Lanachella, and whether or not its okay to be happy that "skinny Lana is back." As Ozempic users and believers, our two cents are worth a million cents.
And paying sisters: STAY TUNED in a few days for the debut of ON SECOND THOT, our xxxclusive bonus show that will now be a weekly staple in your current membership <3
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Help fund Apple's oral health on Patreon.

R.I.P. Blowjay Simpson!

The jury finds you in contempt of CUNT! Now it's time to SERVE!
Welcome back to central booking at Thot Topics Regional Penitentiary. All fines will be processed to the window on your left, and visitation will be found to your right. Oh, you're here for a conjugal visit? Right this way, ma'am...
This week, the girls convene on several matters of utmost importance-- sucking in your stomach, food safety, atomic habits, Joker 2, and so much more. We also do a quarter-year checkin on our most-streamed music: what's hot on the charts in our apartments and on TouchTunes? Much appreciation abounds for the arts.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Bail us out on Patreon.

All Worm and No Play!

You better worm girl!
We're BACK for a lovely special springtime episode. (But really, aren't they ALL special?) This is a girls chat of VITAL importance: we really put our thinking boobs on for this one!
We discuss everything on God's Green, from LESBIANS to DUNE 2 to what may be the FINAL DAYS OF THE TIKTOK TOP 50. Do you love the way we work it? HEY LADIESSS!!!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Back it up and dump it on Patreon.

Cowboy Cooter! (Preview)

**PATRONS ONLY** Four goddamn American dollars get you access to full-length bonus episodes AND... new surprises coming soon :)
Hold onto your whorses because it's time for another riveting episode of THOT TOPICS! We're back after losing or breaking literally every single piece of recording equipment we owned and are ready to begin a new chapter of excellence in inbreastigative reporting.
This week, the girls discuss the Nickelodeon sex pest documentary QUIET ON SET and pick out a bra to throw on stage at The Wiggles On Ice. Then, they unpack Beyonce's new rootin'-tootin' country girl persona and forthcumming album COWBOY CARTER. Did black people invent country? Honest question we really don't know.
And last but not least, we talk about whether drag kings should be cast on Drag Race-- per the sage words of Naysha Lopez, the greatest showman.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Fight for what's right on Patreon.