Thot Topics
Thot Topics is a podcast with the bravery to stare into the void and ask God’s question: ”Do I look fat in these jeans?” Every week, Nick Malone and Cris Lopez slow-motion dive into music, culture, and politics, then emerge soaking wet with 100% certified accurate takes for your listening pleasure. If you’ve ever felt gaslit by gay Twitter, or by a sizing chart while online shopping, this will be the sisterhood of a lifetime.
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Episodes
Tuesday Mar 24, 2020
Tuesday Mar 24, 2020
Poppers and douches and urns, oh my! This week, the girls sit down for a little chitchat with Peter, aka @ratdad666, the perpetrator behind the infamous Charli XCX #Ashesgate to talk all things fly, hot, and sexy: mommorabilia, the manic depressive effects of the quar, ANIMAL CROSSING, the tanning arts, the new Dua Lipa album, and Poppy's bad metal music. Then, we look back on the ashes seen 'round the world, and wonder how much it really matters when a female pop star is willing to (in the words of famed sociologist Azealia Banks) "ride gay dick." As if!
AND HEY!!! WE'RE SELLING STICKERS AND T-SHIRTS! VISIT OUR STORE AT THOTTOPICS.BIGCARTEL.COM! THEY'RE SUPER AFFORDABLE AND TOTALLY ADORABLE!
Tuesday Mar 17, 2020
Tuesday Mar 17, 2020
Inbreastigative Journalists in the House (by Illinois state mandate)!!! This week, the girls are joined by friend of the pod Morgan mere minutes after her experience being tested for Coronavirus-- no, actually!!-- and ponder the possible fallout of the pandemic as it continues to spread like peanut butter! Then, alone once more, they unpack Paper Magazine's Lady Gaga cover story, go ham on Abercrombie's new "plus-size" "gay" "model" Michael McCauley, and wonder if non-hot people have a place in fashion and media. Get well soon, bitch! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.
P.S. If you think you'd make a good guest on the show please hit our DM! We're looking to bring more girls and gays into the Thot Topics Cinematic Universe. Xo!
Monday Mar 09, 2020
Monday Mar 09, 2020
Live from another bitch's business, it's Thot Topics! This week, our girlbosses return to form and dive into the most hotly discussed music of the week, including Katy Perry's coming-out-as-a-straight-chick pregnancy ballad, Megan's baker-fucking banger, Ashnikko and the perils of TikTok music, and Bree Runway's capture of our hearts! Then, they begrudgingly talk about the abuse allegations against Drag Race's Sherry Pie, and wonder whether Drag Race (and drag in general) is ACTUALLY okay for kids to watch or participate in. Eow!
Tuesday Mar 03, 2020
Tuesday Mar 03, 2020
Call in, we're standing by! It was a slow news week, so this time, the girls dive into their listeners' burning questions: Is polyamory real? Can you be ace without a bowl cut? What if Joe Biden had a distant relative who weighed 700 lbs and had perfect politics, and ran in 2020 under the name Jo(anna) Biden? Wait-- those weren't your questions? Oh well, whatever! Sex education, the disproportionate targeting of starships of color, and why RedOne would have a hard time in the Matrix are all discussed. Sköl! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.
Wednesday Feb 26, 2020
Wednesday Feb 26, 2020
These chicks clappin', and they AIN'T usin' hands! This week the girls are solo once again, but still hot and ready to discuss Shrek 4-D, Princess Nokia's Freudian youth pastor song, how Rihanna's bangs kept her from having stans, and the Freakum Dress Paradox. Then, as American dicks remain at half-mast for the ousting of Bernie staffer and beloved Twitter gay Ben Mora, they ponder what it might mean for the liberal consensus on identity politics and morality to continue unenCUMbered. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.
Tuesday Feb 18, 2020
Tuesday Feb 18, 2020
Help! Our boobs are stuck to the pool deck! Our gals are joined by str8 m8 Will Okay (@okaymiz) over some DELICIOUS coconut sake to discuss the most pressing issues of early Shamrock Season: gay guys watching straight porn, Grimes' Linkin Park cover, Elon Musk's pussy body, Justin Bieber kissing your breasts, Pitbull, and your dad! Then, the code is cracked on what a gay male pop star would have to do to experience Beyonce-level success and acclaim: is it even possible?
Tuesday Feb 11, 2020
Tuesday Feb 11, 2020
Canvas for Thot Topics! This week, the himbos read the Iowa democratic caucus for filth honey (boots!), try to figure out who exactly is voting for Pete, settle the great Groupies vs. Boobies debate, get their ASS up, and take a stand against domestic violence lobbyist Nicole Scherzinger. Then, an exploration of what it means for Jameela Jamil to come out as a homosexual ahead of HBO's Important new fellatio competition, Legendary! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.
Tuesday Feb 04, 2020
Tuesday Feb 04, 2020
Thot Topics, come to Brazil! This time, the girls cut loose and discuss the fallout of Nick's 100% correct Kesha review, the Shakira Bowl, Dua Lipa's revolution of the boring, funky white chick Meghan Trainor, the science of turning it, the difference between Bhad Bhabie and G-Eazy, and ELMO'S BIRTHDAY!!! Then, they hypothesize how the 2010's pop queens (Katy! Gaga! Rihanna!) could revive their careers to previous heights. Bon appetit, baby! Follow the girls @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.
Monday Jan 27, 2020
Monday Jan 27, 2020
THOT TOPICS lives to "queer" audio quality standards for another week! This time, your whorespondents dish on The Scammys, Megan, Rico, and Doja, Hayley Williams's new Hyundai jingle, Lady Gaga's Return to Love, why Chris Brown is the Nicole of the male Pussycat dolls, RuPaul's age, and why Drag Race will never be the vehicle for the genderless future that blue-check circuit gays seem to think it is! Follow the girls @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.
Sunday Jan 19, 2020
Sunday Jan 19, 2020
The inaugural episode of THOT TOPICS! This week, the hoes discuss Bernie, Selena Gomez (AND The Scene!), Demi Lovato's latina heritage, Alessia Cara MINDFREAK, the tick who tanked Justin Bieber's sales, Liz and SOPHIE's thanksgiving dinner, Normani Quinn, SoundCloud horndog Jhene Aiko, and more! Then, we take a deep dive into Slayyyter's brush with cancellation! Welcome to the sweet little world of Thot Topics! Follow the girls @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.