Thot Topics

The Summer I Turned Pussy!

The block is hot-- and we're about to turn it into the Summer of 69! (If you catch our drift...)
 
Welcome back to the Thot Topics Studios where we are prepared to begin a new chapter of our happy little lives. We begin with a lengthy girly little chitchat about the simple joys of our young sprightly bouncy lives. We also reluctantly check in on the current season of Drag Race and the state of whale sex.
 
Later on, we enter a ruthless battle of wits by answering famous questions from ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER. From biology to math, we break new barriers in teen intellect and capture it live on air.
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Don't be a bummer on Patreon.

The Skeet Escape! (Preview)

**PATRONS ONLY** Subscribe to the Patreon at patreon.com/thottopics.
Wooohoo... YEEEEEEEEEEhoo!!!!!
It's a leap year and you know what that means: there's one more day 'til the rent is due, pookie! Now, PUMP THE BEAT! First, we do a little bit of girly chitchat-- the weather was beautiful and the vibes were ERRATIC to say the least, so there was much to be discussed. What masculine traits are displayed in gay guys? Is there such thing as an Indian elephant? All will be revealed in the fullness of time.
Then, the main event: we comb through a master list of classic pop album covers and rank them on a scale from "galactic slay" (decided by the gay guy who made the TierMaker list) and GUTTER BOOTS! We share rare insights on Kesha, Carly Rae Jepsen, Cardelia B, and many more-- it's a classic Thot Topics romp. 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Feel yummy head to toe on Patreon. 

Slut Pop Memphis!

Hold on to your cloaca, cuz it's gonna be a bumpy ride!!
 
We convene to discuss the state of The Bimbo: is her time finally over? Have the powers of the bimbo fallen into the wrong hands, exploited for her comically large breasts for TikTok cred? WHO can be trusted with the pure heart of the Bimbo... and how many must die...
 
Naturally that's NOT all: we "review" Kim Petras's new uhh project SLUT POP MIAMI; and get to the bottom of the Ayesha Erotica situation. We really speak our minds about COUNTRY MUSIC and "WHO IS REALLY COUNTRY." And? We discuss the reproductive behaviors of birds...
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Isnta @th0tstarsxo. Smoke our cubana on Patreon.

Megan's Law and Order!

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially slaynous. In Boystown Chicago, the medicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as Thot Topics. These are their stories.
 
We're back in business-- silly us, we were standing on it the whole time! We use our journalistic skills to unpack the Nicki Minaj vs Megan Thee Stallion situation. Using the latest technological advancements in forensic science, we get to the bottom of the truth honey. Not only that, but we're here to discuss the Ice Spice Conundrum, tax season, gay jealousy, and many more crowd pleasers. Love you!
 
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Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and bail us out on Patreon.

Anatomy of a Doll! (Exxxtended Preview)

**FULL EPISODE FOR PATRONS ONLY** PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS
 
Polizia! Help! I've been Margot ROBBED!
 
We'd like to thank God, the Academy, and most importantly Dr. Pepper for their unwavering support in the making of this podcast. We simply couldn't have done it without you.
 
We know we're supposed to wrap it up, but we also need to express our gratitude to this week's topics: BLUE LIVES, AAVE, BARBIE, FEMINISM, THE POD, THE BUGS, DOORDASH, THE 96TH ACADEMY AWARDS AND ITS DECORATED NOMINEES, THE TIKTOK TOP 50, and more that we're forgetting to mention but believe us when we say our journey would not be the same without you. You know who you are.
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Give us a standing ovaysh on Patreon.

Thot 'N' Cold! (Preview)

**PATRONS ONLY**
 
BRRR! It's cold in here! Must! be! Thot Topics in the ATmosphere! I SAID BRRRRR!!!
 
Welcome one and all to the Thot Topics Plus-Sized Situation Room where several key talking points simply MUST be discussed for the good of our great nation. First, we circle back on corporate speak in the workplace: can we jump on a call and get crunktina?
 
THEN, it's a rapidfire round. HAIR: Who's got it? Who wants it? Who's losing it? Who's growing it? All is revealed. (Especially our hairlines.) PRONOUNS: What's ze freakin' zeal?? OZEMPIC: Did it give, or did it not? Let it be muthafuckin' hot.
 
We also chat about Ariana Grande's new single-- and brand new BMI!
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Warm our winter bosoms on Patreon.

The Top in the Striped Pajamas!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEEENNN WELCOME TO GYPSY ROSE NIGHT AT TAO SPONSORED BY CASAMIGOS TEQUILAAAAAAAAA!!!! EVERYBODY THROW SOME MONEY RIGHT NOW EVERYBODY THROW SOME MONEY RIGHT NOW
 
It's time to be a WHORE in twenty twenty FOUR! In our first episode of the new year, we get straight to business. That's right: we're talking about CONDOMS.
 
Is there such a thing as "safe sex"? How much is too much when it comes to CUM, HUH? Also: we celebrate the return of Gypsy Rose Blanchard to polite society and discuss the psychological impact of True Crime on the female brain. We also make some predictions for the new year, and make our stance on the word 'handsome' as clear as crystal. Not THAT kind of crystal, Miss Tina...
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Instagram @th0tstarsxo. We're still gonna need a TOP on Patreon.

Cockwatchers (UNLOCKED!)

Non-paying girls... we're taking a Christmas sabbatical to truly give our hearts to the Reason For The Season, but in the meantime, PLEASE enjoy this episode from beyond the paywall... talk to you soon girly!
Hey girl, can we circle back? To CRACK!?
Calling all micromanagers, office drones, and watercooler sisters-- we are taking it out of the workplace and into your face this week as we recap Nick's week from hell. The girls wallow in some warm and wet misery, but fear not-- we wore tankinis!
But it's not all doomington and gloomington sweetheart. It's Spotify Wrapped Day, so we do each of our Top 10 countdowns to share the biggest hits in our apartments this year. Kiss you miss you!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tcels. Put the in TOP in unemployment on Patreon.

Pink Friday Gworls! (feat. Zach Langley Chi Chi) [Preview]

**PATRONS ONLY** FULL AXXXESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS
These bitches fuck E V E R Y B O D Y
We're truly tickled to welcome back the talents of the one and only Zach Langley Chi Chi to the Thot Topics Plus Size Creators Regional Headquarters! We've called an emergency conference to discuss what is perhaps the year's most critical event: the release of Nicki Minaj's PINK FRIDAY 2.
This is the most in-depth coverage on the subject you're going to find anywhere, lovingly crafted by the industry's leading sexperts. Stick with your sisters, cuz in the end, it's JUST the memories...
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC on Twitter. Spend another bag on our BODY on Patreon. 
Follow Zach on Twitter @asukahomo and subscribe to I'M SO POPULAR on Patreon. 

Thotline 6: She.T. Phone Home!

It's 10 P.M... do you know where your sistas are? 
Right here silly! Welcome back to the hotline wing of the Thot Topics Megaplex, where we're convening to settle the nation's most pressing questions. We take voicemails from our beloved listeners-- women and gay guys and all in between-- and do our best to set them on the path to suckcess. And we've got some VERY interesting dilemmas this time around:
What's the easiest sport to learn about so you can be relatable to straight men? How do you control your anger when everyone is a goddamn faggot? Should situationships be avoided across the board? What's the best way to cope with the morning after being the drunkest person at the function? We wouldn't steer you wrong... would we??
TRY MAGIC MIND PRODUCTIVITY SHOTS WITH THE EXXXCLUSIVE THOT TOPICS CODE "TT20" AT MAGICMIND.COM/NICKANDCRIS FOR 20% OFF ANY PURCHASE OR 56% OFF ANY SUBSCRIPTION. 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Join our party line on Patreon.