Thot Topics

Insane Clown Pussy!

And the Nookie Tight Nookie Clean Award goes to...
 
We're back and wetter than ever! The girls convene at the top of the charts to take the cultural temperature through the top 15 of Billboard's new TikTok Top 50. We share our official stance on Christianity and make am embarrassing admission about Taylor Swift. SkeeYee!
 
Of course that's not all gworlfriend! We do a little chit-chattington about anti-semitic coworkers, Doja Cat and Nicki's VMA performance, and soooo much more. The give has been given!
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Paint the Coochie Pink on Patreon.

New Millennium Broadz! (feat. Alex Kazemi) [UNLOCKED]

In honor of our sister Alex Kazemi's pub week, we're unlocking our double-long extra thick and juicy interview for all our divas to enjoy <3 Get your copy of New Millennium Boyz, out tomorrow, Sept. 12 2023!
THANK U GOD 4 ALL THIS POD
We're joined in the atrium of the Thot Topics Literary Institute & Creative Learning Center by novelist and good-time gal ALEX KAZEMI, author of the forthcoming New Millennium Boyz! Lots of spoilers ahead so listen with caution (and with your tits out!) 
We talk about pop music's middle class, the dying art of celebrity, the R-word, weird ketchup, huffing household products, men only capable of being "gay" around women, straight guys' desire to get right up on the edge of doing gay stuff, NMB easter eggs, bloghouse, the evils of social media, and sooooo much more. The Thot Topics brain trust expands beyond our wildest dreams.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod.  
Email Alex at fanmail@alexkazemi.com and pre-order New Millennium Boyz, out September 12 2023.

New Millennium Broadz! (feat. Alex Kazemi) [Preview]

**PATRONS ONLY** GET FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS
THANK U GOD 4 ALL THIS POD
We're joined in the atrium of the Thot Topics Literary Institute & Creative Learning Center by novelist and good-time gal ALEX KAZEMI, author of the forthcoming New Millennium Boyz! Lots of spoilers ahead so listen with caution (and with your tits out!) 
We talk about pop music's middle class, the dying art of celebrity, the R-word, weird ketchup, huffing household products, men only capable of being "gay" around women, straight guys' desire to get right up on the edge of doing gay stuff, NMB easter eggs, bloghouse, the evils of social media, and sooooo much more. The Thot Topics brain trust expands beyond our wildest dreams.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod.  
Email Alex at fanmail@alexkazemi.com and pre-order New Millennium Boyz, out September 12 2023.

Let’s Get Biblical!

It's time to crack open the oldest and boldest book in history. On the first day, God said "Let them give cunt!"
 
We are back to address the rumors, the drama and conflamma-- but that's not even the most important thing. We also play a few good old fashioned rounds of the Noah's Ark game, in which we decide who is allowed on the boat to God's New World, and who is most definitely not invited. Did it give Leviticus sweetie? We also present our bold new vision for public transportation across our great nation.
 
Join us or be washed from the Earth! American Pika gang GET UP!
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and throw us a freakin' life raft on Patreon.

Men in Blackface! (Preview)

**PATRONS ONLY** Subscribe on Patreon for full uncut raw access.
Trust us when we say this one's worth the four dollars... 
We're back with a newly expanded soundboard and a newly inflated fucking RACK and we're ready to take in the news. Owww! First, we ask the audience some pertinent questions about Steamworks and do a little bit of oversharing as a group. Then, we turn to former president Barack "Misdemeanor" Obama and analyze new findings regarding his potential faggotry. All signs point to YAAAAS!
Then, we talk about Billy Porter. So that's that. Then we discuss whether Pearl's controversial pic was blackface or not: is it blackface to imitate the people who sometimes get accused of doing blackface? Is blackface all in the lips? We inbreastigate.
Last but certainly not least, we discuss Rob Anderson's controversial Instagram stories on the hierarchy of good gay sex. {37 year old gay man voice} Do closeted guys REALLY do it better!?! 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and drop us a dollar for our highly informative Billy Re-Porting on Patreon. 

Lizzo’s Big Fat Humongous Giant Plus-Sized Bananarama!

Bad news y'all we figured how to make a soundboard
Pardon Nick's weird gross sick voice, but we are back in the booth for an emergency transmission on all things big, huge, gargantuan, ginormous, and whaleish! We take Lizzo's accusers to task and address the haters head-on: would these "dancers" have a job without Lizzo? Does it sound kinda fun to eat a nana out the na-na? Should pop stars have HR coordinators? LET'S SETTLE THIS: SUMO STYLE!
THEN, we talk about Doja's new single and the difference between "the rap game" and "the pop game" and how far you can really get playing either one. Spoiler alert: you've got to be a little gay if you want to leave a mark on this world xo
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Put a banana in our god damn pussy on Patreon.  

Box Office Bombshells! (Preview)

**PREVIEW. PATRONS ONLY. SUB FOR FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS**
 
We're about to turn Hiroshima into HiroSHEma, OKAYYY????
 
Welcome back to our Barbieful Dark Twisted Fantasy-- we reconvene in the sweltering heat of Chicago summa to let our brains cook and let the takes fly like the free birds they are.
 
We have a LOT of ground to cover this evening folks: we discuss our rapturous experience at Beyonce's Renaissance tour, and review Greta Gerwig's billion dollar BARBIE. Spoilers ahead, so don't listen til you've watched (unless that's your thing, sicko xxx)
 
Naturally that's not all-- this is a nearly 2-hour long girls chat for the books! Buckle up and prepare for some good old fashioned ear r*pe because the A/C unit in my apartment made this one pretty loud
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. If anyone knows how to get a suspended Insta back let us know. Blow up our spot on Patreon.

Asparteens Pt. 1: The Big Girl’s Dilemma!

They feed us poison (Vegetables) / So we take their "cures" (Wellbutrin XR) / While they suppress our medicine (Diet Dr Pepper)
Live from the top of the food pyramid, it's Thot Topics! We pregame for the Beyonce concert by once again talking about our inability to feed ourselves properly, but there's so much more TEXTURE to it this time.
We also review a big weekend of new music, from Ice Spice to Slayyyter to NewJeans to Britney. Join us in a few days for our super deluxe BARBIE review and RENAISSANCE TOUR recap!!!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Still working on the gram. Mind your B on Patreon. 

Troy Savants! (feat. Sydney) [Preview]

**PATRONS ONLY**
SUBSCRIBE FOR FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS
This is the hand that gives... and this is the hand that's taking it...
We're back and joined by the honorable Judge Sydney in the courtroom of the mind's eye, AKA the newly expanded Thot Topics Plus-Sized Creators Studio. There's MUCH to discuss and many beers to drink before we have to start our intermittent fast-- so let's get crackin'!
We talk about vaping, racist middle schoolers, Skai Jackson, Shane Dawson, Disney Channel Original Movies, and so much more. THEN, we launch into the main event: a discussion of Troye Sivan's single "RUSH" and the accompanying sexylicious gay guy music video. Does everyone have to be included in everything? What's the difference between being fat and being Fat™? Do artists owe you a spot in their world? LET'S CHAT!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Our Insta might be gone forever we're still waiting lol. Step Up 2 The Streets on Patreon. 
Follow Sydney on Twitter @SYDNEYJ0HNS0N.  

Over-The-Shoulder Ijbolder Holders!

We the ijbol, in order to form a more perfect union, find these justices in contempt of CUNT!
 
Ready to hear the wind whistle through the skulls of two gay guys as they attempt to form a cogent opinion about politics? This week, the girls unpack the week's big Supreme Court decisions. We heard the jury was hung so we HAD to investigate. Gay websites and gay wedding cakes, affirmative cracktion, and student loan debt are picked apart and snacked on.
 
Naturally that's not all-- we predict whether Twitter is REALLY in a death knell, and what might happen if the ship were to go down. Are we going to, uh, Bluesky? (Spoiler alert: fuck no baby!)
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. The official pod Instagram was WRONGFULLY BANNED (sexual solicitation? Where could they possibly have gotten that from...) and we are working on getting it back up and running again! Act affirmatively on Patreon.