Thot Topics

All Scat and No Cattle! (Preview)

**PATRONS ONLY** Get up in the exclusivest Thot Topicsest Clurb on the planet on Patreon. For $4/month, you get access to every exxxclusive episode! PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS
This week, the girls have smeared coconut baby oil on their breasts to send a powerful message about consent. The message? It's simple: {motorboating noises}
We're back to discuss all the happenings of our precious young lives. From feeling immune to emotional music, to weight loss, to our inevitable 26th birthdays, we're feeling cuntemplative, heavy metal, and reflective. It's a soul-baring session for girls of all walks of life.
That's not all-- it's a big week for music and we talk about Doja's SCARLET, Slayyyter's STARFUCKER, and Kim's PROBLEMATIQUE. Plus, we talk about the guy covered in shit at Folsom. It's a roundup you WON'T want to miss!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Fuck our mouth with an egg roll on Patreon. 
PLUS!! WE'RE BACK ON INSTAGRAM FINALLY: @th0tstarsxo 

Troy Savants (feat. Sydney) [UNLOCKED!]

Happy Birthday Sydney! We're unlocking her previously paywalled genius in honor of National Sydney Day and the new Troye Sivan single too... get into the festivities girl!
This is the hand that gives... and this is the hand that's taking it...
We're back and joined by the honorable Judge Sydney in the courtroom of the mind's eye, AKA the newly expanded Thot Topics Plus-Sized Creators Studio. There's MUCH to discuss and many beers to drink before we have to start our intermittent fast-- so let's get crackin'!
We talk about vaping, racist middle schoolers, Skai Jackson, Shane Dawson, Disney Channel Original Movies, and so much more. THEN, we launch into the main event: a discussion of Troye Sivan's single "RUSH" and the accompanying sexylicious gay guy music video. Does everyone have to be included in everything? What's the difference between being fat and being Fat™? Do artists owe you a spot in their world? LET'S CHAT!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Our Insta might be gone forever we're still waiting lol. Step Up 2 The Streets on Patreon. 
Follow Sydney on Twitter @SYDNEYJ0HNS0N.  

Gyal vs. Wild AKA The Girls Go to Rainforest Cafe (Preview)

**PATRONS ONLY**
SUBSCRIBE FOR FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS
WELCUM 2 THE JUNGLE BABY!
To celebrate our 150th freakin' episode, we do a little bit of GORILLA podcasting and bring our white asses to the TRUE Ape Escape: The Rainforest Cafe! Swaddled in the lush acoustics of the jaguars, toucans, chimps and elephants, we do what we do best and share our truest feelings over some questionable cuisine.
We involved our sisters in the celebration by soliciting topics and questions from listeners like YOU! We give advice to a new stepmom, "prove that we're gay," and discuss the ideal homosexual nuptials. Trust us when we say that you DON'T want to miss this! Grab a banana and let's monkey around sis!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. The law of the jungle compels you to Patreon. 

Insane Clown Pussy!

And the Nookie Tight Nookie Clean Award goes to...
 
We're back and wetter than ever! The girls convene at the top of the charts to take the cultural temperature through the top 15 of Billboard's new TikTok Top 50. We share our official stance on Christianity and make am embarrassing admission about Taylor Swift. SkeeYee!
 
Of course that's not all gworlfriend! We do a little chit-chattington about anti-semitic coworkers, Doja Cat and Nicki's VMA performance, and soooo much more. The give has been given!
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Paint the Coochie Pink on Patreon.

New Millennium Broadz! (feat. Alex Kazemi) [UNLOCKED]

In honor of our sister Alex Kazemi's pub week, we're unlocking our double-long extra thick and juicy interview for all our divas to enjoy <3 Get your copy of New Millennium Boyz, out tomorrow, Sept. 12 2023!
THANK U GOD 4 ALL THIS POD
We're joined in the atrium of the Thot Topics Literary Institute & Creative Learning Center by novelist and good-time gal ALEX KAZEMI, author of the forthcoming New Millennium Boyz! Lots of spoilers ahead so listen with caution (and with your tits out!) 
We talk about pop music's middle class, the dying art of celebrity, the R-word, weird ketchup, huffing household products, men only capable of being "gay" around women, straight guys' desire to get right up on the edge of doing gay stuff, NMB easter eggs, bloghouse, the evils of social media, and sooooo much more. The Thot Topics brain trust expands beyond our wildest dreams.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod.  
Email Alex at fanmail@alexkazemi.com and pre-order New Millennium Boyz, out September 12 2023.

New Millennium Broadz! (feat. Alex Kazemi) [Preview]

**PATRONS ONLY** GET FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS
THANK U GOD 4 ALL THIS POD
We're joined in the atrium of the Thot Topics Literary Institute & Creative Learning Center by novelist and good-time gal ALEX KAZEMI, author of the forthcoming New Millennium Boyz! Lots of spoilers ahead so listen with caution (and with your tits out!) 
We talk about pop music's middle class, the dying art of celebrity, the R-word, weird ketchup, huffing household products, men only capable of being "gay" around women, straight guys' desire to get right up on the edge of doing gay stuff, NMB easter eggs, bloghouse, the evils of social media, and sooooo much more. The Thot Topics brain trust expands beyond our wildest dreams.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod.  
Email Alex at fanmail@alexkazemi.com and pre-order New Millennium Boyz, out September 12 2023.

Let’s Get Biblical!

It's time to crack open the oldest and boldest book in history. On the first day, God said "Let them give cunt!"
 
We are back to address the rumors, the drama and conflamma-- but that's not even the most important thing. We also play a few good old fashioned rounds of the Noah's Ark game, in which we decide who is allowed on the boat to God's New World, and who is most definitely not invited. Did it give Leviticus sweetie? We also present our bold new vision for public transportation across our great nation.
 
Join us or be washed from the Earth! American Pika gang GET UP!
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and throw us a freakin' life raft on Patreon.

Men in Blackface! (Preview)

**PATRONS ONLY** Subscribe on Patreon for full uncut raw access.
Trust us when we say this one's worth the four dollars... 
We're back with a newly expanded soundboard and a newly inflated fucking RACK and we're ready to take in the news. Owww! First, we ask the audience some pertinent questions about Steamworks and do a little bit of oversharing as a group. Then, we turn to former president Barack "Misdemeanor" Obama and analyze new findings regarding his potential faggotry. All signs point to YAAAAS!
Then, we talk about Billy Porter. So that's that. Then we discuss whether Pearl's controversial pic was blackface or not: is it blackface to imitate the people who sometimes get accused of doing blackface? Is blackface all in the lips? We inbreastigate.
Last but certainly not least, we discuss Rob Anderson's controversial Instagram stories on the hierarchy of good gay sex. {37 year old gay man voice} Do closeted guys REALLY do it better!?! 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and drop us a dollar for our highly informative Billy Re-Porting on Patreon. 

Lizzo’s Big Fat Humongous Giant Plus-Sized Bananarama!

Bad news y'all we figured how to make a soundboard
Pardon Nick's weird gross sick voice, but we are back in the booth for an emergency transmission on all things big, huge, gargantuan, ginormous, and whaleish! We take Lizzo's accusers to task and address the haters head-on: would these "dancers" have a job without Lizzo? Does it sound kinda fun to eat a nana out the na-na? Should pop stars have HR coordinators? LET'S SETTLE THIS: SUMO STYLE!
THEN, we talk about Doja's new single and the difference between "the rap game" and "the pop game" and how far you can really get playing either one. Spoiler alert: you've got to be a little gay if you want to leave a mark on this world xo
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Put a banana in our god damn pussy on Patreon.  

Box Office Bombshells! (Preview)

**PREVIEW. PATRONS ONLY. SUB FOR FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS**
 
We're about to turn Hiroshima into HiroSHEma, OKAYYY????
 
Welcome back to our Barbieful Dark Twisted Fantasy-- we reconvene in the sweltering heat of Chicago summa to let our brains cook and let the takes fly like the free birds they are.
 
We have a LOT of ground to cover this evening folks: we discuss our rapturous experience at Beyonce's Renaissance tour, and review Greta Gerwig's billion dollar BARBIE. Spoilers ahead, so don't listen til you've watched (unless that's your thing, sicko xxx)
 
Naturally that's not all-- this is a nearly 2-hour long girls chat for the books! Buckle up and prepare for some good old fashioned ear r*pe because the A/C unit in my apartment made this one pretty loud
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. If anyone knows how to get a suspended Insta back let us know. Blow up our spot on Patreon.