Thot Topics

Lizzo’s Big Fat Humongous Giant Plus-Sized Bananarama!

Bad news y'all we figured how to make a soundboard
Pardon Nick's weird gross sick voice, but we are back in the booth for an emergency transmission on all things big, huge, gargantuan, ginormous, and whaleish! We take Lizzo's accusers to task and address the haters head-on: would these "dancers" have a job without Lizzo? Does it sound kinda fun to eat a nana out the na-na? Should pop stars have HR coordinators? LET'S SETTLE THIS: SUMO STYLE!
THEN, we talk about Doja's new single and the difference between "the rap game" and "the pop game" and how far you can really get playing either one. Spoiler alert: you've got to be a little gay if you want to leave a mark on this world xo
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Put a banana in our god damn pussy on Patreon.  

Box Office Bombshells! (Preview)

**PREVIEW. PATRONS ONLY. SUB FOR FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS**
 
We're about to turn Hiroshima into HiroSHEma, OKAYYY????
 
Welcome back to our Barbieful Dark Twisted Fantasy-- we reconvene in the sweltering heat of Chicago summa to let our brains cook and let the takes fly like the free birds they are.
 
We have a LOT of ground to cover this evening folks: we discuss our rapturous experience at Beyonce's Renaissance tour, and review Greta Gerwig's billion dollar BARBIE. Spoilers ahead, so don't listen til you've watched (unless that's your thing, sicko xxx)
 
Naturally that's not all-- this is a nearly 2-hour long girls chat for the books! Buckle up and prepare for some good old fashioned ear r*pe because the A/C unit in my apartment made this one pretty loud
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. If anyone knows how to get a suspended Insta back let us know. Blow up our spot on Patreon.

Asparteens Pt. 1: The Big Girl’s Dilemma!

They feed us poison (Vegetables) / So we take their "cures" (Wellbutrin XR) / While they suppress our medicine (Diet Dr Pepper)
Live from the top of the food pyramid, it's Thot Topics! We pregame for the Beyonce concert by once again talking about our inability to feed ourselves properly, but there's so much more TEXTURE to it this time.
We also review a big weekend of new music, from Ice Spice to Slayyyter to NewJeans to Britney. Join us in a few days for our super deluxe BARBIE review and RENAISSANCE TOUR recap!!!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Still working on the gram. Mind your B on Patreon. 

Troy Savants! (feat. Sydney) [Preview]

**PATRONS ONLY**
SUBSCRIBE FOR FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS
This is the hand that gives... and this is the hand that's taking it...
We're back and joined by the honorable Judge Sydney in the courtroom of the mind's eye, AKA the newly expanded Thot Topics Plus-Sized Creators Studio. There's MUCH to discuss and many beers to drink before we have to start our intermittent fast-- so let's get crackin'!
We talk about vaping, racist middle schoolers, Skai Jackson, Shane Dawson, Disney Channel Original Movies, and so much more. THEN, we launch into the main event: a discussion of Troye Sivan's single "RUSH" and the accompanying sexylicious gay guy music video. Does everyone have to be included in everything? What's the difference between being fat and being Fat™? Do artists owe you a spot in their world? LET'S CHAT!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Our Insta might be gone forever we're still waiting lol. Step Up 2 The Streets on Patreon. 
Follow Sydney on Twitter @SYDNEYJ0HNS0N.  

Over-The-Shoulder Ijbolder Holders!

We the ijbol, in order to form a more perfect union, find these justices in contempt of CUNT!
 
Ready to hear the wind whistle through the skulls of two gay guys as they attempt to form a cogent opinion about politics? This week, the girls unpack the week's big Supreme Court decisions. We heard the jury was hung so we HAD to investigate. Gay websites and gay wedding cakes, affirmative cracktion, and student loan debt are picked apart and snacked on.
 
Naturally that's not all-- we predict whether Twitter is REALLY in a death knell, and what might happen if the ship were to go down. Are we going to, uh, Bluesky? (Spoiler alert: fuck no baby!)
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. The official pod Instagram was WRONGFULLY BANNED (sexual solicitation? Where could they possibly have gotten that from...) and we are working on getting it back up and running again! Act affirmatively on Patreon.

Ghetto Gaggin’ AKA Happy Meat Week! (Preview)

*PATRONS ONLY! SUBSCRIBE TO THE THOT TOPICS PATREON FOR ACCESS TO THE FULL 2 HOUR EPISODE AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS*
Get in faggot we're going to Arby's!
This week, the girls convene unda da sea to discuss all things sub-marine and on dry land! For starters, we cover all the new music that's come out since we last had a girly little chitchat: Kim Petras's "debut album" FEED THE BEAST, the Barbie soundtrack, and quite a few more hits and misses. And that's not all: what the fuck is going on with Nicki Minaj? We investigate.
Then, it's time for serious journalism. We talk about the Titanic excursion gone wrong and everyone's little freakout on Twitter about it; Rina Sawayama's extremely powerful and necessary words against podcasting Nazi Matty Healy; and an update on the girls' most frivolous recent purchases.
This is a REALLY thick and juicy one, so get those gobblin' holes ready for a bite!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter and Instagram. Buy a bitch a classic roast beef on Patreon. 

The Great Aslaykening! (feat. CuteAnon)

Live from the deep slayyyte, Chris from CuteAnon joins us in the studio and we have a total caBALL! I'm just a mole, sir!
 
I'll keep it real and say that this is just some good old fashioned gay guys talking over a couple of cold ones. Isn't this what you came for!? With a little help from Truth or Drink, we really get to know each other in a wet and wild way. Pillow fight!!
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter and Instagram. Take us to Adrenochromatica on Patreon.
Follow Chris on Twitter and listen to CuteAnon on Apple Pods and Spotify.

(Preview) Gay Little Monkey Hour #7: I Hate You Fat Ariana Grande AKA Midriah Carey

**PREVIEW ONLY. FULL 2-HOUR EXTRAVAGANZA ON PATREON!**
Welcome to the jungle baby!!!
We're finally back in (monkey) business and ready to swing from tree to tree! This week, we come to you bearing a double-length episode that's all about FAME, CELEBRITY, STAR POWER, and FUN!! First, we review the new HBO series THE IDOL: is Lily-Rose Depp a good actress? Would that "I'm Just a Freak" song be a hit? Isn't it kind of gross to smoke a cig in the SAUNA? Things get heated...
Then, we execute a brutal and unforgiving tier list ranking the main pop performers of the last few decades-- designating them somewhere between MAJOR and FAT. We can't promise that feathers won't be ruffled, but true gay little monkeys will see the vision. 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Plus, the official pod Twitter and Instagram. For more monkeying around, meet us in the canopy layer on Patreon.

Thotline 5: Opening the Malebox!

You already know what time it is! We asked the Thot Topics community to pick up the phone and buss open their inner worlds-- and boy did they deliver!
 
Over the course of this double-long extra thick episode, we hear the homosexual and female voices of listeners like YOU and get to the bottom of everyone's most pressing issues.
 
How can you get gay guys to ogle you to make your girlfriend jealous? When everything seems to be going just fine and you're still unhappy, what's a hoe to do? Do your friends HAVE to like your boyfriend? We get all up in it.
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod meme page @th0tcels. Join our party line on Patreon.

A Parent’s Guide to Serving Cunt! (Preview)

**PATRONS ONLY**
We return to the booth with clear minds and open hearts, ready to do a little bit of Matty Healing. Love WINS!
This week, we have a big girls' cocktail powwow to discuss Taylor Swift's pivot to NAZISM after fraternizing with KNOWN PORN WATCHER The 1975's Matty Healy. What does this mean for Taylor? Is being a porn star empowering or degrading to these people? What are Inuit people? Nick gives Cris a crash course in Cum Town/Red Scare history.
Next, we discuss Kim Petras's Sports Illustrated cover and the rights of REAL(LY FAT) WOMEN across the globe. Trust the duchess, we address the drama head (and breasts) on!
Last but not least, we get into the core thesis of THE PARENT'S GUIDE TO PREVENTING HOMOSEXUALITY and put our own lives to the test-- theorizing what, if anything made us gay-- and what, if anything, could've stopped it.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTULABOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod meme page @th0tcels. Pay me reparations for being mean to me on Patreon.