Thot Topics

Judy Calls! (Extended Preview)

Disease strikes the Thot Topics Lounge and the girls are separated by FOUR WHOLE CITY BLOCKS by Nick's late-game Covid diagnosis. More like BLOWMIcron am I right? 
Covid may be able to keep us apart but it CAN'T extinguish our spirit, and this episode is just as sassy and girly as ever. While Nick repeatedly hacks up a lung on the air, we cover a LOT of ground. Nick's trip to the deep south inspires us to ask: is homophobia real? Is being a libtard an appropriate response to being gay? Is Memphis the worst city in the country? Much is discussed, and Nick reveals the present he bought for Cris in New Orleans.
Then, it's business as usual. We review the new Carly Rae Jepsen single "Beach House" and the woman Carly Rae Jepsen overall. Then, we talk about Kim Petras's leaked album and what's so fucked up about manufacturing a "moment." Last, we talk about Themi Lovato returning to plain old Demi-- and what that means for the pronoun community at large.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. See this cute whale on the beach on Patreon.

Abuelas in STEM!

⚠️ Time to BeRetarded. ⚠️
 
TRUST THE SCIENCE. *Our* science. Thank God you guys have us to solve this pubic-- oh, sorry, public-- health crisis. We have the way out of the Monkeypox jungle, and here's a hint: ixnay on the ettinggay uttednay inyay!
 
But naturally, that's not all! We monkey around and defend Elon Musk's enlarged ribcage, and talk about the lady who let some guy fuck her thigh crease until he came and how that apparently qualifies her to talk about abortion? Whatever. We don't really get it either but we have fun talking about thigh fucking.
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Keep us off the streets so we don't get GAIDS on Patreon.
 
This week is free-- next week is paid again! Make your god damn fuckin' $4 pledge to join the sisterhood NOW!

Bladees and Gentlemen!

ALERT! NO MORE MR. NICE GAY! We now have enough paying sisters to keep satisfied that we are changing our schedule-- we'll be alternating every week between free and paid episodes. If you don't like it, blow us! Or send us $4 on Patreon and gain access to every episode, every week. This week is paid, but it's a real banger episode-- you definitely don't want to miss babe.
Pollen: It's the Reason for the Sneazin'!
We're back, and not a moment too late! This week, the girls have a therapeutic venting sesh over life's greatest quandaries-- whether tis nobler in the mind to have a gay coworker, or to wish you were an owl who was still allowed in Great American Bagel. Plus-- is the only way to regain our online privacy to constantly lie? There's more but I honestly can't remember. Drain gang!
THEN, we discuss the picture seen 'round the world-- Lana Del Rey and her new boyfie Jack Donoghue. We judge the photo's artistic merits, but wind up going on a really long rant about twinks-- maybe the most definitive thing anyone's ever said about twinks and why they'll never understand Lana. 
Lastly, we try to discuss Christian Walker and Kehlani fighting in the Starbucks line and wind up discussing Grindr and the Gay Coomer Mindset. In the business, that's what they call a MISDIRECT. We feel you'll enjoy.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Rally against the free folk on Patreon. 

Blow v. Trade!

We asked Biden if he'd swear us onto the SuCREAM court, but he said we weren't qualified, cuz that thang be squirtin'!
 
We return after our triumphant centennial episode to bravely offer our highly sought-after takes on politics. We know it's your favorite-- we're so good at it! We predict whether gay marriage will survive the decade, but also ask some more fundamental questions: How does plumbing work? Is diet soda actually zero calories? Is abortion giving, or is it not? Let it be muthafuckin' hot!
 
But that's not all-- we also talk about street protests, Yonce, record labels not understanding what actually makes someone popular, and so much more. Take a load off-- or drop a load in, we really don't mind. We probably won't even feel it!
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod.
 
We don't know what to say. We asked you Monday. We asked you Tuesday. We asked you Wednesday. We asked you Thursday. We're truly sorry to ask you again today. Give us four dollars on Patreon NOW to protect the rights of women everywhere.

RuPaul’s Case Race AKA The 100th Episode Power Hour!

100 EPISODES!!!! To the moon, Alice! The goon palace!
 
The long-awaiting Thot Topics centennial is upon us, and to celebrate our womanniversary we reached out to listeners like YOU to construct the WHEEL OF WHORETUNE-- over 70 topics were submitted for consideration and we got through a surprising amount of them! Round and round she goes-- where she stops, NOBODY knows! It's the ultimate test of podcasting endurance and we pass with flying colors. Also we got literally so drunk. POWER HOUR!!!!!
 
We don't want to spoil any surprises but this is really a tender, girly moment of celebration

Portrait of a Lady on Fire Island!

Though Pride Month may be upon us, at Thot Topics HQ it's NO MORE MR. DIONYSE GUY!!
I really thought we'd gotten all the rage out on the last solo episode but apparently not! This week, gay guys really gave us a LOT to chew on and boy did it taste like SHIT! After a little bit of girly chitchat on the job market, we dive right into our review of Hulu's new gay "rom-com" FIRE ISLAND. Should Fire Island people stay there forever? Is continuing to fuck randos a satisfying end to a love story? Is it better to be a huge whale than a guy with a normal BMI in the gay world? We SETTLE IT.
Then, a few other faggot ass issues on the docket. First, the Postmates Pride Month "Bottom Menu" and how to have anal sex in a way that serves God. PLUS, Drag Queens v. The State of Texas-- can kids be around drag queens without becoming trans? Find out, and maybe just find yourself, this week on THOT TOPICS!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Get us something off the bottom menu on Patreon.

Thotline 3: God Reads Kneemail! (feat. @bulkingtreason)

There's NO business like YO business, so you know we had to get up in there like swimwear!
 
As part of our court-ordered 80 hours of community service, we reach out to broken-brain gay guys, pure-hearted young women, and straight guys who like us for whatever reason, to fix their lives Iyanla-style. And there's no shortage of crises to resolve-- is personal grooming for men too gay? Is there a way to break the gay frenemies cycle in the workplace? Is it ever a good move to move home with your parents? Can you be part of the "scene" while still preserving a long-term relationship? ALL of this is resolved and more.
 
Close your mouths, open your ears, and you just might learn something

The Diet Dr. Pepper Socialist!

SQUEEZE the means of production. MILK the bourgeoisie for all it's worth. SUCK the power out of billionaires. RIDE into the perfect Marxist future. SLURP that dick till it cum.
 
We're back! We know we've kept you waiting for a hot minute so we really play the hits on this one. First order of business is addressing Nick's haters: does thinking the bus is gross make you pedophile? Are you a Nazi for wanting to stop school shootings? Can you eat food or drive cars in good conscience under socialism? We settle it once and for all, and cast an ancient and powerful curse on our naysayers.
 
Then, we really return to the classics-- we review the new Sky Ferreira comeback single DON'T FORGET, and the new Rina Sawayama "song" THIS HELL. Naturally we take a few detours: Indian twinks, race theory, having fun, running for mayor, begging rather than choosing, and MORE!
 
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Prove our haters right on Patreon.
 
LAST CALL for the THOTLINE-- sorry for the delay, Cris was sick, but we'll have your burning questions answered this Thursday!!

*UNLOCKED* Gay Little Monkey Hour #4: C.O.C.K. in the USA (feat. Twink Revolution)

**PATREON EXCLUSIVE UNLOCKED**
Cris is sick so we couldn't record an episode this week, but we'll be back on schedule this week including the new THOTLINE episode!! In the meantime, here's an offering from the VAULT to tide you over in the meantime.
This land is. WHAT? This land is. WHO? This land is. OUUURR LAND
We're back in the Gay Little Monkey Jungle swinging from tree to tree with a couple of skinny little apes: Sam and Gian of the defunct but never de-spunked TWINK REVOLUTION. Given the current national climate we thought it was the perfect time to really take a step back and evaluate the state of the Jewnion. Where's the dead weight? How can we cut out the fat? How can we expect to thrive when we keep inviting D-listers? It's time to revolutionize. Welcome to Thottopica baby.
We cover ALL fifty states from sea to shining sea and decide whether it should stay, have its population euthanized but its landscape preserved, or whether it should be blown to got damn smithereens! Look at the material...
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Reminder that you'll get a weekly premium episode all through May if you sub!
Follow FKA Twink Rev on Twitter @RevGiant and @TwinkRevSam. And don't miss their cum-back episode featuring yours truly next week

Ketayours, Ketamine, and Ketaours! (feat. Sydney)

WOMAN MOMENT!! Thot Topics history is made once again as we invite the second woman in nearly 100 episodes into the Women's Business Lounge-- beloved friend of the pod, the gorgeous SYDNEY! And you're in for a real treat because nothing enables us to fag out more than being in a girl's apartment. This episode also features a lot of feline mischief in the background-- meOW!
We perform a wellness check on the culture as we approach the halfway mark of 2022-- we review our In/Out list for 2022 and see how accurate we were. Are the "in" things actually in, or is there still work left to be done? Are the "out" things actually out, or do you people need to get your shit together? Much is discussed, much is resolved, and if you don't leave this episode feeling centered then there's not much hope for you!
In addition, we settle some feelings about Party Girl Bisexuality, the superiority of the Devil's Threesome, girlfriends performing lesbian urges to express hatred for their boyfriends, and MORE as we pregame for the Slayyyter show. It's THAT level of female-homosexual unity.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Buy us a round on Patreon.
Follow Sydney on Twitter and on Insta.