Thot Topics

Palantir Jerkers! (Unlocked)

Previously only for patrons! One of my favorite eps of ours in a while... PLEASE enjoy and PLEASE subscribe on Patreon you dumb-dumb!! Join now for a bonus episode every week, and a paywalled ep every other week! PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS
Sniff you love someone... let them go...
Welcome BACK to the Thot Topics Sex Positivity Labs, where it's NOT illegal to be supa gay and whorney! Grab a beaker and assume the position: this is going to be a highly experimental treatment...
In another classic episode dedicated to the art & science of homosexuality, we uncover the secrets to ENJOYING BEING AROUND OTHER GAY PEOPLE when you thought all hope was lost. Is there lowkey an importance to identifying with a "tribe" of gays? Is it, in fact, pleasant to be around gay people? When? Where? And most importantly: would anyone like some stew?
But then: the REAL business at hand. We discuss the $100M buy-in to SNIFFIES by THE MATCH GROUP. This is a complex issue, so we provide a complete anal history of what happened to Grindr, what happened to gay guys in their childhoods, and so much more. It's a masterclass in knowing better than other people.
Then, we sort of review ZENZEALIA, but mostly mourn the loss of female rap. What the hell happened? We issue our final word.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Meet us in the bathroom on Patreon!!

Podcasting in A Minor!

And now, we'll hear a few rousing words from our Breast Man...
WE ARE SO BACK! Welcome to deeeeluxe hour of Thot Topics excellence brought to you by Aubrey Graham of Toronto, Canada. There's so much to discuss, so whatcha waitin' for?
This week, we discuss DRAKE DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, and issue our highly valued gay male opinion on RAP MUSIC. Maid of Honour and the other ones... so many thoughts to be shared. Plus, Nick recaps his ICELANDIC ADVENTURE and issues a state of the union address regarding his thoughts on America after a time away.
That's not all though: we also chat about the new Charli XCX single ROCK MUSIC: whether or not it's a sign of good things to come, or if we have really lost our girl in the depths of the sauce.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Donate to Kendrick Lamar's NAMBLA initiative on Patreon.

Troubled Pairofdykes!

IT'S WUR$T GIRL WEEK! PUTCHA DRINKS UP!!! LADIES, WHO ON THEY PERIOD!?!
It's a big week for us in the Thot Topics Universe-- a new SLAYYYTER album is finally upon us and we go as deep as humanly possible on all 14 tracks. Hold on to your it because it's about to be cranked!
But that's certainly not all: a little bit of girly chitchat is in order regarding WEDDINGS, TAILORING, and THE GREATEST TWEETS OF ALL TIME. We hope you left room for dessert mama because we've got seconds in the oven!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. What is it like, to pay us five dollars on Patreon?

Le Nookie Di Figaro!

Why it gotta be ARABesque girl!?!
We're back and our form on the barre is than ever. Are you ready to kornbread jete onto center stage for a tasty weekend of Thot Topicking? There's SO MUCH on our minds this week...
First, Nick has a few thoughts on his mind regarding THE VENMO/CASHAPP/ZELLE RACIAL DIVIDE and whether it's appropriate to bring your Nintendo Switch to work. We do a little bit of Critical Race Theory and a little bit of DEI while we're at it. But naturally there's more...
In the final rush to OSCARS NIGHT, we issue our final official predictions for the turnout and issue a conspiracy theory of our own. Are the powers that be trying to thwart Chalamet? DOES anyone give a fuck about opera or ballet? SHOULD they? We unpack it all hunni.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Pliése give us five dollars on Patreon.

28 Years Slayyyter!

The chile in me sees the chile in you... now, together, we can finally heal...
Whether your daddy's in jail raising hell or your sister's on the corner selling something for sale, we've got something for YOU on this riveting episode of Thot Topics Podcast. But what's on the menu? I'm so very glad you asked...
This week, we talk about THE ART OF FUJOING OUT: what makes gay guy sex so fun to straight women? Are the gay guys in the minds of the slash fiction enjoyer even gay guys? WHO CARES? Today, we do. More thoughts on Heated Rivalry and chick porn abound...
But that's not all sweetheart: we talk about TOURETTE'S AT THE BAFTAs and a fun return to Obamastyle Twitter-- should you be punished for knowing about the N word and having Tourette's? The answer may surprise you...
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Fund our own Heated Rivalry remake on Patreon.

Debby Tirarmasfotos!

Bunny is a Rider? I thought he was Puerto Rican...
FUCK! It's a Sunday... thankfully we've got a big beautiful brand new episode for precious little Thot Topics listeners all over the globe. It's coming right up so you better get this party started!
First, we issue formal comment on Nick getting dragged within an inch of his life on Twitter by people who really enjoy the work of auteur filmmaker "Markiplier." We review IRON LUNG in earnest, and revisit CUTIES... the movie that makes you a pedophile!
But that's not all: we get into the GRAMMYS and unpack all the winners and the many many many losers. It's a blast from start to finish... get to listenin'!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Please welcome Debby to the stage on Patreon.

A Pawg's Purpose!

WALK A MILE IN OUR LOUBOUTINS... JOIN THE PATREON TODAY FOR A WEEKLY BONUS EPISODE AND BIWEEKLY PREMIUM EPS! ONLY 5 BUCKS YOUNG HO!
When the pawg hits the conflicts he feels like a king. What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight and he'll win the whole thing...
HAPPY JANTEENTH! Gather around the fireplace our little nieces and nephews because it's time for a story about a little black girl from the Brewster projects of Detroit, Michigan. This week, white girl rap is on the brain: we unpack SUNSHINE BENZI and Robyn's new song SEXISTENTIAL. What sort of white girl rap is the world willing to accept right now? What kind of white girl makes the perfect rapper? ALL is revealed in our ultimate theory...
But that's not all-- we run down the list of GOLDEN GLOBES winners and make some light predictions for Oscar season, mourn the loss of our gaydars, and sooooo much more. Fasten your skeetbelt!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Walk a mile in our louboutins on Patreon.

Thotline 10: Ringtoney Hawk's Pro Sgayter!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO THOTS AROUND THE WORLD! In our final episode of 2025. we open up the Thotline to our precious listeners to hear their pressing questions as 2020-SEX looms large over us all. Gays and women and the others who love them loose their lips (both sets!) to let their voices be heard.
But that's not all: we also issue our formal prognosis for the new year-- the year of the WHORSE! What's to come in the New Year? Horsing around? Laboring hard in the fields of life? Advanced, complex nail care? We gaze into our crystal ball and see what's juicy.
More to come on this week's aftershow, Thotline 10.5 for patrons only!
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Purchase an Alicia Key for the new year on Patreon.

Puck My Goal!

CALL THE NEW YEARS' THOTLINE NOW! LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL AT ‪(773) 242-7242‬, or EMAIL US AT THOTTOPICSPOD@GMAIL.COM. DEADLINE IS DECEMBER 15. 
Puck this ass Hollander! Puck it!
It's a winter wonderland in the Thot Topics studio and we are in the spirit of giving: CUNT, that is! There's so much to get into, and there's no time like the PRESENT... LOOOL
First, we review the gay hockey program that is licking and sucking and fondling the nation: HEATED RIVALRY. Why are the guys not even hot? Why did they bother with the hockey? Why do straight girls want to watch straight guys rail? We recommend a visual of Rachel Reid to enjoy fully.
Then, it's WRAPPED SEASON, so we look back on the 15 defining songs of 2025 for each girl. I'll warn you it was a very LGBT year, but we have fun anyway looking back on a year of musical triumph.
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Take a slapshot on our tight little goal on Patreon.

The Chic Shall Inherit the Earth!

{Rina Sawayama voice} Um, do you want to explain why you think that's funny? Seriously, we'll all wait. I'd love to hear what you think is so funny about that. No just explain the joke. Like what's so funny?
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY TO LISTEN TO THOT TOPICS!!! Wouldn't you agree? Whatever your answer is we're coming to ratatat on those little eardrums one way or another you dirty, dirty girl! This week, the girls unpack the etymology of "TREATLER" and attempt to self-diagnose. We are medical professionals after all. But then it's down to biz!
We talk about Rina Sawayama's cultural appropriation allegations against Sabrina Carpenter. Who left their WHORE shoes on in my beautiful Japanese home???
Then, we pull out our dark crystals (you don't want to know where from) and SCRY the night away, into the future of MUSIC JOURNALISM: specifically, is Pitchfork making a huge mistake allowing user ratings? Will the STAN kill the CRITIC, or have they already? It's a serious investigation luv...
Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Take your shoes off at the door on Patreon. And in the spirit of this week's topic, why not leave us a review? :P